Five years ago

I am posting this tonight in remembrance of my mother. I know she didn’t want any carrying on about her being gone. When I worked at the newspaper she always said in her German-Russian dialogue, “Bilipt net!” Meaning absolutely not. She said this about putting a poem or writing or picture of her in the newspaper on the anniversary of her passing or on her birthday. She never forbade me to put it in my blog, and I realize I am splitting hairs here, but today as I officiated the funeral for a 97 year old Matriarch of her family, I couldn’t help but bring up my mother. They had “Beyond the Sunset” as the solo for goodness sake, that was our family funeral song after all. So this is what I included in remarks about my mother in terms of how they might feel about grieving for their mother and grandmother and so ….

Tomorrow will be five years since my mother passed away. And, although I grieved for her, I really didn’t cry when it happened, or even in that first year. There was no water, but lately I have finally started to grieve with tears. And on Thursday, I was listening to my new Adele CD with the song, “A Million Years Ago,” and in the lyrics it says, “I miss the air, I miss my friends, I miss my mother…” About then the rain hit, but the reason I am sharing this is because as I sat and cried and thought about how she would have hit her 20th birthday this year (she was a leap year baby), I realized that instead of grieving I should  be happy for her. Yes I am sad that she is gone, but it finally hit me that she is five years longer in heaven. She has had five years of less pain, of less cold and discomfort and five years more of rejoicing with the angels around the throne.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. christinelaennec
    Jan 22, 2016 @ 03:26:03

    A beautiful post. Grief has its own ways of working through us, doesn’t it? Glad you found some comfort and peace. No doubt the tears and sadness are necessary in order to get to the peaceful thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person


    • lucindalines
      Jan 25, 2016 @ 11:28:25

      Yes grief does have its own way of working itself out on us, as you well know Christine. Thanks for the comment. Ironically, the actual anniversary day was just another day for me. Funny how things strike us.



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