Dancing over the rainbow

There is a Garth Brooks song that makes me want to sob every time I hear it. So you might ask why would I use that song. It isn’t because I am depressed, but it was playing in the background in one of the stores we were in on Sunday, and of all things, it started haunting me last night. It could be used as a good-by song, and has been used at a funeral or two that I have been to or heard of. The line that kept playing in my head is:
And now
“…I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go
Our lives
Are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I’da had to miss the dance…”

This whole moving thing had me thinking about all the places we have lived and all the places that I have worked and why we went and why we left. I think most of it started yesterday after I had a conversation with a mother of one of Paulina’s classmates and volleyball teammates. This mother is already going through separation as her daughter chose to start hairdressing school now in the summer session. She is only in Bismarck, which for Linton students is only an hour from home, nothing really when you think of colleges in the Dakotas and how far some have to move.

We talked about how different our lives would have been if James would have gotten his job in Linton the first time he applied for it. Jessica and Victoria would have gone through high school here. Paulina would never have been bounced around the way she was. Then I stop and remember what Dr. Strandness taught us in the religion department at Jamestown College. He said “ours is not to wonder why.” He taught us that the what if thinking was the wrong way to be looking at life. He said God doesn’t want us to be looking back and wondering, we are supposed to look forward to what will be and what we should do to improve things.

So, I guess instead of letting Garth Brooks play in my head for the rest of the day, I will turn to a timeless classic and begin thinking of tomorrow. No, I am not going to the musical Anne, I am going to the movie that stems from the Dakotas (Frank Baum really wasn’t writing about Kansas, but that is a whole different topic). I will think of Judy Garland and Toto, and I will spend the rest of the day hearing: “Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly….Oh no, now I am back in Montpelier painting a yellow brick road on the floor of the gym and wondering why we ever left there…yikes.

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. christinelaennec
    Jun 13, 2013 @ 14:57:21

    It’s so easy to go down the road of “What if”s, I’ve been there a lot too. But I agree with Malou and with your teacher, there is a pattern that is bigger than we can perceive. It’s easy to imagine things would have been better If Only, but we don’t know that’s the case. So I remind myself to turn towards the future, be grateful for what we’ve been given, and trust. Easier said than done a lot of times!

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  2. Malou
    Jun 12, 2013 @ 09:33:28

    Life is full of surprises that looking back, we will have a lot of “what ifs”. I believe in the Unseen Hand who directs everything and we are not to fathom the wisdom for those seemingly coincidences. We can only be appreciative of every single opportunity and hurdle thrown our path each day because they are meant to make us better persons. 😉

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